Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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