Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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