No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just high enough for therapy.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
