This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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