Dual....:-)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
