Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
