i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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