You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
