I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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