I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
