My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
