sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
