do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
