when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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