I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
