Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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