she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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