dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
