Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
