Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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