I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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