Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
