this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
