does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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