Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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