it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
