Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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