I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
