he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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