weddingsv make me drug and hornr
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
