I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
