i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
