got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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