so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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