I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
