Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
