I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
