I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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