Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
