I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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