Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
