when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
