puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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