got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
