ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
