Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
