Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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