plz talk dirty to me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
