I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
