Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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