There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
