this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize