That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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