wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
