I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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