Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
