The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize