I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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