She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
