rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
