My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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