420 ftw
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
