Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
